Nanny Diaries

When I think about the experiences  that taught me most, about myself, about life and others, they’re jobs not worthy of space on my resume. They didn’t take place in a classroom, or in a cubicle, behind a screen. No, I encountered my greatest obstacles on the playground, when a seven year old asked me to play pirate ship and it took more creative instinct out of me than any writing I had ever done. Or when while teaching Spanish reading lessons to a child with learning deficiencies, he  screamed “you’re an idiot” and books, paper, and pencils scattered in every direction.

Nanny, or “Childcare professional”  hardly seems a step above stay at home mom,  which I admit, I  used to firmly push aside as an easy, complacent, unambitious path. How difficult could it be to spend a couple hours with a child, you play, you make sure they’re safe and you call it a day. But that would be an easy day, the first thirty minutes of a day even.  I realized, there’s perhaps nothing more ambitious than educating  a child, to shape another human being’s mind, behavior and values. Because when a child throws a crying fit on the floor,  it is much easier to sit them before a television, or give into their frustration and give up on actually helping this person learn, because they’re after all, just children.  To adjust day by day to someone else’s moods and needs, one’s they are only developing to express, to place them before your own, and to develop a method that will best achieve their growth, that’s project management.

 Job interview after interview, as I’m asked to explain my qualifications, I can only hear my voice: flat, distant, indifferent, a voice that is trying to convince myself as much as the employer that I WANT this first step on the corporate ladder. So, I end up not impressing anyone. You can’t fool passion, you can’t disguise desire, and no matter how qualified or not one is for something, if the chemistry doesn’t fit, you walk out knowing no match will be set, and relief overcomes the disappointment that rejection brings.

Yet, whenever I meet another family, another child the enthusiasm and professionalism in my voice and demeanor  that escapes me in all my other interviews, comes forth naturally. I’m happy, I’m comfortable, I know that this is something I can manage, enjoy and serves a greater purpose, even if it is confined to the spirit and development of a small child, who can’t otherwise do anything for me, not directly atleast.

Nannying won’t get me the magazine writing or editing position I dreamed of as a teen, and stopped working toward. It won’t impress HR departments at UNICEF or PLAN International when I apply to drive global education initiatives. And yet, it teaches me about both these fields, it pieces together the picture of what I am supposed to do in life, and how every experience, even nannying will shape my work when I do find myself in the careers I seek.

They say you can’t write if you haven’t lived, and I can’t expect to change the world if I don’t see it from the eyes of those whom I’m changing it for- children from every country, culture, socio-economic background and learning capability.  Nannying provided me that objective, moreso than any class or any internship ever crafted, and while I can push my degrees and university brand  application after application, they don’t replace the only insight on life I value- a child’s perspective.